Bowdoin

to college tours I went
wandered campuses looking for myself
sat in cafeterias wishing I could confidently call this home
smelt air of pine trees and sea
and I think I found me.

player

we talked of
cotton american flag
thongs,
classy patriotism
wrapped in bacon
and sold to the
big-boobed bitch
in the back row
ready for some red-neck fun.
but when i mentioned a name
that brought her shame,
i threw silence at the
mexican gang that sounded of
mariachi music and rough engines,
and brought up a secret
that didn't actually exist.
when asked by
puzzle-piece eyes
that twinkled with
chocolate chips and a cherry,
i whispered 'player'
and ate their has
with a spork.

chatty

on soft summer nights
under a plastic red umbrella
with little black birds
migrating to somewhere
happier than here
and wishing you could
leave with them too
but instead sitting
with your eyes
on your heart
who keeps laughing at you
and your silent words
caught in the net
called your censor
that prevents you
saying stupid shit
but instead
prevents you
from saying anything at all.

LC

to day we talked

for two whole hours,

words breaking surface

gasping for ear,

and they listened,

and i listened,

i wish she was here.

College

Just a statement,
all it is...
except that it expresses you,
it summarizes you,
and it is all that they will ever see
437 words on a page,
that is all you will ever be
to them,
until that letter is in the mail
and you are there
and real,
and it is there
and real,
but until then,
it's just a myth,
a blissful dream
called college

On Trial at a Pizza Parlor

I didn't defend her

my mind turned to slush

as they mocked her misery

and his inability

to make a move

and i stood by,

a dummy laughing at their 

discomforting jokes.

It came to me,

at one moment

to defend her, but I didn't.

I even at one point said,

let me think of something

and then some rubber ball

touched my mind,

but it was too small to hold,

and so i dropped it

and sat there,

bamboozled. 

In response to The Vindication of the Rights of Women by Mary Wollstonecraftt

Marriage like a wall
encloses you in your house.
You are chained to the sink,
your hands constantly under,
blue dish soap your perfume.

Break the chain!
Drain the sink!
Seek your own life of
Virtuosity

End of Class

Sitting in class

my mind up my ass

and the whole room going insane.

It's like a condom on my brain

and nothing can get in

and I am getting thin

and I want to go home and eat,

to hear those moving feet,

those engines softly flooring

as they eagerly escape.

please, clock that
looks like Abe,
be honest with me,
how many more minutes?

My Office

My Office

I sit on the floor,

Cement, my swivel chair,

Leaning over my computer,

Boogie board, my mahogany desk.

I feel classy,

As blue and pink lights laugh at my face

And candlelight twinkles my eyes.

I type respectable words on a respectable site

And lift my pinky up to reveal the words

creative. 

Mistle Toe

Christmas lights in my eyes,
Menorah flames on my cheeks,

He looks at me under that mistle toe
and the feelings I felt, I didn't know.
But the moment was there
and I took it
and kept it
hostage in my snow globe.

Second To Last Day

One day to go, and eager for summer,
we sat in the office selling the last of the school food.
He was there, Bob.
Our amazing office assistant,
the man who knew everything and everyone,
who told us stories about hobos at Berkley.
And he told us he was leaving,
and lunch was coming to an end,
and we felt parting in the air,
But instead of a last goodbye and good luck,
"See you tomorrow!"

And we never saw him again.

Finished

Finished

I look back at the pages:

Seven hundred and seventy-six.

I weigh the book in my hand:

Point-seven-eight.

I close it, as thrill rushes

To meet the floodgates of my pride.

I have done it. 

Mustard

Mustard
You are my enemy.
Your dainty yellow flowers repulse me.
You take over a plot with your chemicals,
destroying native plants
so your sperm can prosper.
Well, not for long.
I will grip your spiny stem and pull.
I wil yank you from your home
that never was your own.
And if that doesn't work,
I shall hack and hack and hack
until you are no more.

Cupping

Please.
Put a cup on my back,
with a flame underneath,
And through the manipulated plastic,
take my last breath,
And then, I'll feel it
Grasp me.

Feeling Friendless

Feeling Friendless

My social life

Feels like

An abyss.

An empty asylum.

I hit white walls

So hard but bounce back.

I can’t think

Of one person

That is thinking of me right now.

I can’t think that one day someone

Maybe, will lay with me in bed

Will like me.

Will know me.

Will see me.

I am real.

I am real?

Right?

Self-Confidence

Self-Confidence

In a failed attempt at showing my friends how I have developed in Scotland,

And the perfect coincidence that my parents would be out of town,

I decided to throw a party.

What more, I concluded that anyone could come

What more, illicit substances could be done.

What more, there would be no sun.

And I thought, what could be more fun.

So they left, and the sun left, and Tuesday night came with Excitement.

So I cleaned, and the moon cleaned, and possibilities expanded.

And as the clock struck 7, and no one showed, I believed still.

But as the clock struck 8, and no one appeared, I wanted to leave

But as the clock struck 9, and no one appeared, I stopped caring.

But as the clock struck 10 and no one arrived, I went outside.

But as the clock struck 11, and no one came, I closed my eyes.

And I thought, “Wow, I am going to have self-confidence issues.”